"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief"

Machinations

Monday, November 26, 2007
5:44 PM

"It will make sense later. I promise," she said. Mastavius grabbed his cloak, pulling it on with a certain amount of shrugging that men tend to do when getting into any garment, "I don't see why you need to find the salt anyway. It's not your problem."

Letting her arms fall from her waist, she followed him out of the parlor and into the foyer slowly, "Because Szol of Ar is my friend." the murmur came matter of factly. Standing back a bit from the door as he opened, a gust of cool air came in, causing her eyes to narrow subtly.

He took a step down onto the front step, and looked back at the snake evenly, jamming his hood up to keep out the chill. "Well shit. I got lots of friends, Savana." The wind tugged at the black fabric she wore like a child's sticky fingers, chaotic but insistant. The austere gaze lifted again to Mastavius hovered there, "I don't."

Labels: Diamond Back Ar

You do what you have to do.

Saturday, August 11, 2007
9:35 AM

She was late again, but this time for good reason. Unlocking the door she stepped in, closing it behind her with a flip of bolt. "Tza.." Squinting at the darkness she moved through the foyer, pausing by their room. The door to that was opened slowly, what was revealed inside staggered her step, whatever words she was to say fell dead upon her lips, strangled. Tza jerked up from his reclined position, the red haired woman atop him near tumbling as well, "Savana.." He got to his feet, dragging a sheet around his hips as he moved in her direction. Another step back taken from him, she flicked her gaze to the outstretched hand of her partner, a blade pulled from belt she impaled it in the door jam. Turning abruptly she strode for the door, jerking it open and stepping out into the night. - Dream excerpt from Mona Lisa Smile 9/4/06

The stitches were removed. I took Venor with me for the trip to the clinic. Much as had been anticipated by Kyron's physicians, there is a scar left behind. I suppose that's fitting. We returned to the Diamond Back that evening, and I spent some time going through old recollections of my past. The Magistrate Silenti was less interested, and opted for sleeping instead. Something I am grateful for. Self examination and the peering at old wounds are best left as private viewings.

Word has made its way back to me, as it often does. I find it ironic I knew then. That dream. It had led me to seek council from Laric over tea. That, in itself, was the first fight. Perhaps it makes more sense to me now too. And at the same time no sense at all. I think I will always love Nashoti. Now though, I am ready to let that go. Clinging to the past, trying to right what fate has declared in stone, nearly cost me my life.

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do

I sat cross legged before the fireplace of the Diamond Back for many ahn. One last entry was made to the last page of the tome that detailed our life. The good, and the bad. It was then sentenced to the flames. It was both a cleansing moment, and one of great grief. I felt as if I'd just lit his pyre.

And in some way I suppose I had.

Kwaheri, anam cara

Labels: Diamond Back Ar

Fidelis

Friday, July 20, 2007
8:47 AM

Nex has returned again. His disappearances and reappearances have become a part of his identity to me. I do not count on his presence, but enjoy it while it remains until it inevitably leaves like the predictable turning of seasons. I see him perhaps, for a few hands every year or so. Though given his vagrant ways, I do not understand his desire for my fidelity.

The nature of our relationship is malleable. I would have assumed this pleased him. I know if I promised him more, it would not change his ways, and so I cannot see changing my own. I made the mistake once with Nashoti, and it ruined so much, trying to be what our ilk is not. Is it not enough to care for a person? Or many persons? What is love? Or am I just incapable of trusting the permenancy of anyone or anything in my life outside of myself?

To be sure I have loved many times in my life. Many men. I will love many more I imagine before I die. But I think history has shown me that giving all of yourself to only one spells disaster. Love is power. The power to destroy that which loves. I have been grievously wounded enough that I am careful of the daggers I arm men with now.

My Nex is a maverick sleen that comes and goes as he pleases. I think devoting myself would do him just as much disservice as me. I would not be as forgiving of his departures and long absences as I am now.

As it stands he is not here for me all the time. But he is always here when I need him most. And that is more than many have offered at all.

Labels: Diamond Back Ar

Because you wanted to know...

Who are you?

Erin, or Kaige if you like. I'm sure I'm called a number of other incongruous monikers as well that I'm not yet privy to.

So I was told..

I know. I'm sure you've been told, warned, advised, and possibly even threatened. I get the logs. Make your own judgements.

Um..what's with the kids?

I was not consulted in the munning of Nashoti and Sahara. Such SLs are (regardless of the state of the characters) joint between the two muns that created them. It was my request they remain NPC or at least to be included on the decision when they were munned. I was not. In fact I was told I had no right to be included in the decision. I was not even given the consideration of being notified. As such, anyone playing Nashoti and Sahara are not welcome, not authorized, and not acknowledged. Nor are they authorized to use the Vinquient SL in any way, shape or form in their play. Other than that, I have no comment on them.

So I have this slave..

Savana does not take on munned personal slaves. I don't have the time to devote to them, and because I do not believe in taking on a slave and not playing with it, all her chattel are NPC. If you would like to bring your slave into the Resurrection SL however, there are a number of avenues to do so, including being owned by the Rabid Sleen or the Strega Inn.

Do you only play PR?

Absolutely not. I play equally in both.

What does the Paparazzi thing mean in your profile?

Gorean paparazzi are the people that follow you room to room, sit and log your play hoping and praying to find something unflattering to share with others. They post about you in online rag mags, gossip heatedly about your life and your actions, photoshop pictures in an attempt to slander, etc. If you have people that behave like this around you, you have paparazzi. They take stalker to a whole new level of creepy.

How do I get a Resurrection or Paparazzi tag for my profile?

Just email and ask. I usually hand them out. There's nothing exclusive about them.

Can I use your map?

Sure. Just don't alter it please. If you want your house/shop/whatever added, ask me and I'll add it for you.

Will you help me create a new BC/Port Kar/Land of Misfit Toys/Random SL..

Most of my time is taken up by the story lines I have here. Since I don't like to half-ass my endeavors, I am not taking on other ventures at this point. Thanks for asking though.

How do I get the chance to play with you?

I am easy to play with. Just show up to a room where I'm playing.

Why do you block me?

If you are blocked, it's because I don't like you. A lot. Chances are however if you're blocked you know why. I am generally a forgiving person. I am not however a putz.

Will you help me with my pharmacokinetics/nursing/organic chemistry?

I am amazed how often I get asked this stuff. Go to class! Email your professor. I graduated, I don't want to do anymore home work. Would you?

I'm gonna gitcha!!

Take a number and get in line with the rest of the gun slingers looking to make a name for themselves.

So&So snuck into your SL!

Yes, I know. I know who everyone is in this story line. Whether or not they are honest. Just because I haven't called them out, doesn't mean I don't know. It either means I don't care, or I'm giving them a chance to prove they can be here or give me a reason to put their head on a pike. Which yellow brick road they choose is up to them.

You denied me entrance to the story line! Oh..Em..GEE!

Yup. I believe they call that karma. Though contrary to popular belief, it's not just because I don't like you. There's people in the SL I don't like. Being my BFF is not one of the requirements to play. If you are denied entrance into the Resurrection, it is because every SL you enter, you destroy. Many times intentionally. Every group you play with, you break up with your divisive and unstable behavior. Call it playing God. Call it tyranical. Call it creative cleansing. Call it whatever you want..just do it over there somewhere.

"I heard you're dead! [Insert lame ghost comment here in hopes of coming across edgy, cool and sarcastic, etc.]"

Strange Lifetime channel movie agendas aside..the information used to call the hunt against Savana was gained out of character. Completely. The "crime" was part of a story line that was being put on by the Resurrection. Said party(ies) were invited to play, to learn things in character. Said party(ies) opted not to. I do not accept blurring. Reading my journal, or lurking in a room and logging is not a valid means for gaining information for a hunt in my world. Nor is the excuse "He'd just know". If you disagree, I don't much give a crap. The scene ended with Savana losing consciousness. At which point I played the hit as grievous, though not lethal. That, in my opinion, was far more considerate than was deserved.

You will not bully me. No amount of snarky profiles, thought-jibes, lies, mind games, and threats to the people I play with, is going to change that. It doesn't hurt my feelings. And I assure you, I am hardly crying alone into my tea cup in an empty room every night. I'm not hurting for play. I'm not forlorn that you do not acknowledge me. I don't need your approval. So the next time you go to the Anti-Kaige Club for Pasta Night, you might let the rest of the legion know.

I made a far better ally than I do an enemy.

I HATE him/her/it! I demand you do something about it!

I don't want involved in your squabbles. No I will not remove people from the SL just because you don't like them out of character. I don't remove people I don't like, what in the world makes you think I'm going to boot people you don't like? Sucking up to me won't give you leverage. Neither will blatant attempts to throw what you perceive as "your weight" around. More likely you'll throw yourself overboard. The rules apply to everyone. I am a lot of terrible things, but a hypocrite is not one of them. :)